NJKitten
When I’m shopping with my friend and she calls her husband to ask permission to buy something

myfriendsaremarried:

and I’m just like…

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When my married friend tells me I’m irresponsible

myfriendsaremarried:

and I’m like…

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When my friend asks me not to get drunk at her bridal shower

myfriendsaremarried:

and I’m just like…

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Good to be a man

Its good to be a man these days
dont have no conscious about my evil ways
dont ever feel bad for the awful things I say
its good to be a man these days

To be a man would be serene
drinking beer till i get mean
chewing tabaco
kissing girl like lifes a dream
to be a man would be serene
and i bet it gets tiering
always having to be right
well id love to be a cheating man
to fill those lonely nights

to be a man would be just fine
my only worry would be my reseeding hair line
i only give love thats on my own time
to be a man would be just fine

to be a man would be damn good
i’d do dumb things cause i should
getting stuck in a ditch like my woman knew i would
to be a man would be damn good

Its good to be a man these days

thugkitchen:

Want to torch your pumpkin like this one? Fuck yeah you do. Instructions and shit from last year HERE.
HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERYONE

thugkitchen:

Want to torch your pumpkin like this one? Fuck yeah you do. Instructions and shit from last year HERE.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERYONE

thugkitchen:

You don’t need a party to get down on some guacamole. Put it on a salad, taco, tostada, sandwich, whatever you want. Eat it with your hands. I don’t give a flying fuck. SNACK LIFE.

 

GRAPEFRUIT GUACAMOLE


5 ripe avocados

2 medium grapefruits or 1 big son of a bitch

¼ cup chopped cilantro

¼ cup chopped red onion

juice of 1 lime (about 2 tablespoons)

¼ teaspoon salt



Take the pit out of the avocados and scoop out all the green flesh into a large bowl. Mash it up with fork. I like my guacamole chunky but do what you gotta do. Cut the grapefruit up into segments like you would cut an orange. Remove the peel and cut the segments into pieces about the size of a nickel. Put all the grapefruit into the bowl with the avocado. Add the cilantro, red onion, lime juice, and salt and mix it all up. Taste it and add more shit until you like it. Serve immediately or chill it for a bit. I’m not gonna tell you how to eat guacamole, just follow your fucking heart.  

I want some now

thugkitchen:

You don’t need a party to get down on some guacamole. Put it on a salad, taco, tostada, sandwich, whatever you want. Eat it with your hands. I don’t give a flying fuck. SNACK LIFE.

 

GRAPEFRUIT GUACAMOLE

5 ripe avocados

2 medium grapefruits or 1 big son of a bitch

¼ cup chopped cilantro

¼ cup chopped red onion

juice of 1 lime (about 2 tablespoons)

¼ teaspoon salt

Take the pit out of the avocados and scoop out all the green flesh into a large bowl. Mash it up with fork. I like my guacamole chunky but do what you gotta do. Cut the grapefruit up into segments like you would cut an orange. Remove the peel and cut the segments into pieces about the size of a nickel. Put all the grapefruit into the bowl with the avocado. Add the cilantro, red onion, lime juice, and salt and mix it all up. Taste it and add more shit until you like it. Serve immediately or chill it for a bit. I’m not gonna tell you how to eat guacamole, just follow your fucking heart. 

I want some now

You tried to change didn’t you?
closed your mouth more
tried to be softer
prettier
less volatile, less awake
but even when sleeping you could feel
him travelling away from you in his dreams
so what did you want to do love
split his head open?
you can’t make homes out of human beings
someone should have already told you that
and if he wants to leave
then let him leave
you are terrifying
and strange and beautiful
something not everyone knows how to love.
1501: for women who are ‘difficult’ to love. | Warsan Shire
Wild Horse

I’d like to call you my wild horse

and feed your silver sage

 

I’d like to paint my poems

with desert tongued clay

across

your back

and ride you savagely

as the sweet southern wind

through a green and wild Kentucky

 

I’d like to make you my secret sun

blazing dark and red in the orchards

and I would steal away

to watch the way

your silver belly bends

and bows beneath me

 

I’d make you my wings

in the foothills of Montana

my liver in the oceans of the world

 

I’d make you my many calico children

and scatter you

across

the green memories of home

 

I’d be your hungry Valley

and sow your golden fields of wheat

in my womb